Hope

This past year has been a rollercoaster: The end of a two year relationship, a new whirlwind romance and subsequent wedding, then settling in and getting to know each other on a deeper level. And don't forget I moved. Twice. Then there was the winter from hell that just wouldn't let up on us - I fell on ice and badly bruised my hip, I hit a pothole (crater) so hard it bent the rim and a tie rod, and got my car terribly stuck in snow and ice. Twice. Then just recently my beloved grandmother who I am extremely close to falls ill and needs open heart surgery.

Whew! When I lay it all out like that it's no wonder the bipolar has been roaring into overdrive this year. That's a lot of stress right there. Some of it I took on voluntarily, the rest not so much. I cannot even begin to describe how sedentary I have been this winter. (No, it's worse than you're imagining.) I wake up just in time to get ready and go to work. After work I nap. Then I wander the house aimlessly trying to figure out what to do. Am I hungry? No. Do I want to watch tv? No. Read a book? Hahaha, I can't concentrate long enough to finish a paragraph. Play a video game? Nah. So I lay on the bed and watch Noah play his game. We chat a little. Then I take a bath. Then I go to bed. I squeak by on chores. The cat litter box is clean. Clean enough. There's some clean laundry to be found. Good enough. I also just barely squeak by doing the minimum required at work. Sometimes I even fall short of that. I have no energy, no drive. Nothing brings me joy these days except animals. I've gained 20 lbs. in the last year. I've been pulling and straining muscles just by existing because my muscles are so tense and rigid and out of shape. I keep meaning to get back into yoga but find a million excuses not to. I can't take it anymore!

SO... I've found hope. Spring is very close. My State Park Pass is good until August. Do you see where I am going with this? I just need some momentum. A body in motion tend to stay in motion right? I've heard that somewhere. So here's my plan for getting in and staying in motion. This weekend I'm going to move into Gramma's and stay with her while she is recovering from her surgery. While I am there I will have access to the Elm Creek trail system and I will start to do some walking again (if the trails are walkable). Slow and easy at first. I might throw in some light stretching too. Then, when the weather is just right and things are starting to bloom I will start my state park hiking adventuring. My camera will of course be involved in all of my outdoor activities. And once I'm going I will throw yoga back into the mix. My first state park will be William O'Brien. It's only a half hour from home and has 12 miles of hiking trails. I'm so excited I can't wait to get started!

HURRY UP SPRING!